It has been a busy week!
Within the last 4 days, I've turned 29, celebrated my 2nd wedding anniversary with the hubs, and endured Hurricane Sandy. The hurricane really wasn't much to blog about, but I guess living in the northeast makes it worth mentioning.
So after all of these happenings, what am I to look forward to next? I'm looking forward to trying to being healthier and happier for the next 29 years. So far, I've got a good head start. I already have the 5 wonderful years I've been with my husband. I have the 7 1/2 wonderful years I've had my daughter. I've got 3 years at a steady job that I LOVE. I joined that gym back in January and may actually make an appearance there sometime soon.
So far, so good.
Thank you to everyone who has had any influence on the last 29 - you've all endured my ups and downs and way ups and way downs. You all deserve some cookies. Or gold stars. Whatever positive reinforcement items work for you, they're yours.
I love you all and am grateful to have had such wonderful people to fill up my life thus far.
And Happy Anniversary to you, my Love.
My head is too full.
I hate writer's block. It always happens when I have too many thoughts in my head and it becomes impossible for me to reach in and pick one out to talk about. It's extremely frustrating to feel so many emotions and not be able to release them in the form of written words.
Anger. Happiness. Anxiety.
And the list goes on and on....and on. It's like having a thousand birds flying around my brain and I have to catch the right one at the right time to be able to speak.
I've been juggling so many things lately. We have a lot of balls in the air right now and I'm trying to keep them all going just right...it is tiring. Luckily, it's also rewarding a lot of the time. I feel I've done some good this week. I feel I made a difference in some lives. It may be a small, seemingly insignificant act of kindness...but a difference all the same. I am happy with the place I am in right now. I love my family, I love my job, I love my friends...yet it is so chaotic I often find myself bouncing from one thing to the next without being able to focus on the outcomes of what I am doing. It will be nice when things calm down and I can take a deep breath and look around at all we have.
I am so grateful. I am so blessed.
I just need to come up with a positive mantra to get myself back on track. Mantras are also difficult to come up with when you have a thousand attention-seeking birds occupying your brain. Makes me tired to think about trying to organize this by shoving each thought into their respective box to sort it all out.
I need an energy boost.
It's about that time again.
No matter how tired I am all day long, once the stars come out, my adrenaline kicks in and my body says, "it's go time."
Much like a werewolf, my personality drastically changes with the moonlight. I have been told several times that I am like two completely different people. I like to consider it my own way of multitasking in my life...I don't make an effort to change - it's like a switch being turned on and off. I think most people are this way. I just do it backwards! Instead of being afraid of what lurks in the darkness, I find it comforting. Somehow I feel ten feet tall and bulletproof once the sun is done setting. It's my chance to show everyone what I'm good at and to do what I really enjoy doing. It's the time of day I get to spend giving back and trying to help however I possibly can. It is the time I get to spend being the me I always envisioned.
This also saps a lot of energy from some pretty weary bones here.
My daytimes are spent running from the sun. I cringe when I have to go to an appointment in the middle of the day (how would YOU feel if your dentist was only available at 3am?) And there are so many people out during the day...how can you all stand it?! It is sensory overload to go from being one of the few people awake to being one of thousands of people awake in town. The noises seem louder and I find myself getting irritable when people slam doors (I quickly picked up the habit of shutting doors silently when I started working overnights) or when chatter gets too high. I'm like a librarian, wanting to walk around and shush people all day.
I probably need to work on this.
For now, I am happy with my quiet darkness. The sense of solitude and autonomy invigorates me. It charges me up for the coming day. It makes me comfortable and it makes me happy. It's a schedule that is conducive to my personality. In a way, I think my body was built for it. I've always had trouble feeling rested after a night's sleep. I like being able to hear everyone else going about their business when I am crawling into bed for my own nighttime. It fits me.
I think I truly have become a creature of the night....and it doesn't bother me a bit.
Mother and wife by day, psych RN by night. So many different ways to view life. I try to take everything in and be very slow to judge.