I could do that and you were wrong.
It wasn't too hard for me and you were wrong.
It wasn't all my fault and you were wrong.
I can finish things I start, and you are wrong.
I am a great mom and you are wrong.
I am a good person and you are wrong.
I am so, so strong and you are wrong.
Too many years of my life have been spent trying to remove this inherently bad part of me that made me the screw-up I have always been known to be. As I got older and I began to meet more and more new people, it became apparent that something was off about this assessment of myself. It just didn't add up. Don't get me wrong - I believed it without question (and on some really bad days, still do). Instead of doing the logical thing (and I pride myself in being a somewhat logical person...) and taking into account not only the things I did that were not-so-great, but the things that I did that were actually pretty awesome.
I'm going to force myself to make a list. On this list I am going to list my pretty-awesome accomplishments. And I am not going to allow myself to "yeah-but" them away. (Some of you will understand just how challenging this can be.....)
- I made it through high school. (High school sucked a lot.)
- I joined the Marines at 17 years old and completed bootcamp and combat training.
- I became a single mom at 20 and worked a full-time job to support us and pay for our tiny apartment.
- I graduated nursing school with a 3 1/2 year old and my RN degree.
- I got the exact job I wanted on the exact unit I wanted to work on despite the fact that I was initially told it was not a possibility. (Persistence is key!)
- I met my best friend and we got married.
- We subsequently had another child who does nothing but make our lives better in some way, every day.
So let's get this straight once and for all. Every time you said I couldn't.....I did. And when you said I'd screw it up for sure because that's just what I do, I actually made something awesome.
Are you sure you know what you're talking about?