The word brings a sense of belonging and peace and home to my soul. I am so, so lucky to be a part of a tribe that continues to grow on a daily basis. I truly don't know where I would be without you.
Oh, wait. I do know. I would more than likely be dead right now.
My struggles have been very intense (AKA "Brenda") and literally life-threatening over the last few months. My downward spirals happen seemingly out of nowhere, and they are quick to bring me to a new bottom every time. It is absolutely terrifying to know that at any moment, something could happen that would send me into a tailspin and I'd be back in that dark hole, clinging to life with my very fingertips.
But, I know you all would be there.
You would be right there with me, talking to me and comforting me. Reminding me that if I just hang on for a little bit longer, things would once again right themselves and breathing wouldn't feel like such a chore.
I am happy to report that I am writing this from above the ground, and that I have managed to claw my way back up to the sunlight once more with the help of everyone around me. I am so, so eternally grateful to you all. You have continued to love me when I can't love myself. You have continued to reach out and foil any attempts to hide or isolate. You have continued to push, yet stay at a healthy distance, love yet not make me feel smothered, and make me feel wanted and needed even when I feel like a speck of dirt on someone's shoe.
Thank you.
Now, for anyone who does not currently feel as though they have a tribe: I challenge that thought. You more than likely have a lot of people who have your back and are just waiting in the wings for you to ask for their help. Utilize them. Ask for that help.
Like me - I'm here for you.
The best part about getting some of my energy back is that I can now use it to help others who have tumbled down Alice's rabbit hole and can't see the light of day. Please reach out. Anytime. I am here. We are here. You are not alone.
Sending you all so much love on this gorgeous Monday. Keep your face towards the sky and feel that sunshine today. Vitamin D, baby!
Be safe. Be well. Remember you are worth it.
- B