Have you ever gotten a lot of unsolicited advice from people at a time when you really weren't looking for it? I find that this happens to me pretty often. Every decision I come to is picked apart and judged and deemed good or bad when I'm not even asking others what they think. I hear from my friends that they encounter the same problem as well.
Take, for example, our upcoming move.
It was not a decision made lightly, and it is anxiety provoking for everyone in our family (except for my 2 year-old....he will be happy as long as we remember to take him with!). We have gotten both positive and negative feedback about it. We have heard how it will be good for our daughter to start over in a brand new school with people who will not judge her by any past mistakes. We have also heard how detrimental to her psyche it will be because of the fact that she is 10 years old and will be leaving behind a core group of friends here. I have been lectured on my poor parenting and my lack of consideration for my daughter's feelings about this move.
Why is it that others feel as though it is acceptable to weigh in on a situation that is not their own?
I do not think that anybody does this to purposely hurt our feelings or cause more trepidation in an already stressful situation. I do realize that it is my fault that this happens so often in so many aspects of our lives. I had my daughter when I was 20 years old. I was young and inexperienced. When I started out, I had a lot of "help" from well-meaning individuals who had something to say about every step I took before I took it. It was second nature for a lot of people to offer up advice on how to best raise a child. I get that, I truly do. I have never been very vocal when it comes to shutting people down when they have criticized my choices. However (!!), now I would like to say, thank you for caring enough to be concerned...but I've got it from here.
I am no longer a half-grown woman starting out in a big, scary world.
I've proven time and time again that I can do this. I am, in fact, doing this as we speak. I am strong and and I am competent. I have made many mistakes in my 32 years....but I have also overcome SO MUCH. The bad parts have always been glaringly obvious, and I've learned that failures seem to stick in people's minds a lot more than accomplishments. Yes, I've fallen down a lot. I have also gotten back up every single time and carried on to get myself to where I am today. I am a mother of two amazing kids. They are not perfect, but that is because they are human...not because I have done everything wrong in the process of raising them.
I have also been a nurse for over 6 years now. I worked my butt off and completed nursing school while continuing to take care of my daughter. I got good grades and I graduated because I pushed through and never gave up. I am not currently working due to a medical issue that is 100% out of my control, and I have been doing everything in my power to find a way to continue to contribute to my family so that my husband isn't carrying all of our financial burden. I also endured Marine Corps bootcamp when I was just 17, for Christ's sake. Give me a little credit. I'm not helpless and I'm not unqualified for my role of Mom.
Thank you for all of the continuous love and concern regarding our well-being.
I greatly appreciate how much interest people have in our welfare, and I will continue to be grateful for any support from here on out. I will not, however, be tolerating any more negative opinions that I receive from those who feel that they have the right to weigh in on all of my life decisions. I am focusing on making the future as positive and peaceful as I can for myself and my family.
I welcome everyone to continue on our journey with us.
Just, please, leave any nasty comments at the door.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Always loving you,
... PS - All in all, I think everyone's pretty happy.