I have found peace.
After a very stressful, very aggravating house closing down in Massachusetts...we finally made it. We are home. Our house is so beautiful and so perfect that I find myself waiting for someone to wake me up from this dream. There is an endless expanse of green. The sunshine warms my face as well as my soul. The wildlife surrounds us and we often have chickens streaking across the backyard. I've hung up a hummingbird feeder and a wind chime. Our deck is the perfect place to lay out and just....breathe.
I do that a lot here.
It is as though time slowed down the moment we crossed the town line. I am in no hurry to go anywhere or do anything. I understand that what will be will be, and that it is better to just go along with the flow rather than fight against the current. I can feel myself recharging more with each passing day.
I've always known my spirit runs on sunshine.
I'm not the only one who is thriving here. The kids are happier than I have ever seen them. My daughter, who was the most anxious of all of us about this move, has settled in like she was made to grow here. Her schoolwork has improved, her moods are more constant and less up and down, and she already has a solid group of friends at school. We have also tasked her with taking care of our chickens. She checks for eggs in the morning before she goes to school and then again after the bus drops her back at home. She has named the majority of our 15 chickens and understands each of their different personalities. Our realtor in Massachusetts, whom we came to love over the months of backbreaking work and heartache, requested that we name a chicken after her. We now have 3 white chickens that never walk and always run (very fitting) who go by the name of Jo.
I am living a fairytale.
If you had told me a year ago that this is where I would end up, I would have laughed in your face. Everything was so screwed up and so hopeless last spring...yet here I am. When I set this goal after I finished treatment in the fall it seemed far beyond my reach.
But I didn't let that stop me.
I worked my way here one day at a time. A lot of those days were very hard. But I never gave up. I kept telling myself that I would get here, and that all I needed to do was to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I didn't allow myself to despair if I occasionally took a step backward. I didn't get sidetracked by negative thoughts or people who told me that this was an impossible idea.
I just kept pushing forward.
And lo. Here I am.
Just goes to show, no dream is ever too big and no reach is ever too far.
Set a goal and get out there and conquer it.
You can. I did.
Always with love,
Mother and wife by day, psych RN by night. So many different ways to view life. I try to take everything in and be very slow to judge.