I tend to do this thing. I pile everything I possibly can onto my shoulders and try to will myself to keep walking until I eventually sink to my knees and can't move another inch.
Does anyone else do that? Not ask for help until it's almost too late?
I am a warrior.
I had forgotten that. There have been a handful or more of instances over the last few months that have really hammered into my head that I DON'T HAVE TO SIT STILL AND LET IT ALL PILE ON ME. People can say or do what they want, I do not have to stick around and let it affect me. I have two legs. I can walk away. I need to learn to walk away.
I am worthy.
I am worthy of love. I am worthy of being picked first. I am worthy of the pride people have for me. I am not trash. I am not junk. I need to stop allowing myself to be in situations where the people around me are watching me sink lower and lower to the floor because of the words or actions that are being thrown in my face. I need to be stronger. I need to SHOW my strength.
I am not meek.
I was once the girl who kicked ass in Marine Corps bootcamp at 17 years old. I can still take most of you down if you put me in a position where I had to do it. I was a single mom at 21. I made it through nursing school with a baby. I worked overnights for 6 years, while taking care of my kids during the day, all day every day. I have been beaten down and stood back up more times than I can count. I have woken up so many mornings where I wished I was dead because of the chaos I had caused the night before. Still, I fought to live.
I have crawled and clawed and cried my way to today. I am still here. I am still alive. I am still fighting. I will not lay down and admit defeat.
I come from a long line of strong, warrior women.
We don't give up, we go harder.
Seize the motherf****** day, my loves.
I am so beyond grateful to have EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of you in my life. You have no idea.
Keep crawling. Never give up.
And always, ALWAYS know that you are not alone.