Who are you calling Bipolar? (Part 1)

I started the other morning in a very grumpy mood. There wasn't one specific thing that set me off, it was just a general feeling of irritation aimed at no one in particular - everyone got to feel a little of my wrath. It had actually been a good night at work! When I got home, I didn't feel much like sitting around the house and quietly waiting for everyone to wake up. I figured I'd take a drive and see if I could do some retail therapy to improve my crappy mood.  

See, I happen to think shopping can be healthy coping skill! (As long as you aren't using your mortgage payment to pay for a bunch of machines that chop up food in different ways on HSN, it's not an issue!) The only problem with my otherwise brilliant plan was that it was only 8:30am. On a Saturday. I drove around for a full 30 minutes until I finally gave up and pulled into the only store I could find open. I quickly found out that grocery shopping does not work the same as buying a new hoodie from Hollister for me. So I hopped back into the car and started to look for other options. I initially ended up in the Best Buy parking lot and was planning on waiting in the car until the store opened 30 minutes later. While I sat there, I noticed a bunch of cars in the shopping plaza across the street. I scanned the strip mall, trying to figure out where all of these people were congregated so early on a weekend morning. It was a gym! I took that as a sign from the cosmos and promptly went over there to sign myself up. (HEL-LO! Big New Year's resolution, remember?!)

The guy at the desk was rambling on about all of the different reasons as to why I should get a membership there. I stood there, nodding politely as he talked and talked and talked about how they have 20 tredmills (!!) and showers in the locker rooms (!!) and 10 flat screens with a variety of reality tv options (Jersey Shore and Real Housewives at the same time?! Sign me up, dude!) Seriously, though...this poor guy didn't seem to realize that he was wasting his time with all of this talking. I knew I wanted to join the gym before I had walked in the door - I didn't need all of the extra convincing.

I think my favorite part of this whole experience was the part where one of the members came up to the desk to complain about being kicked off of her machine because it was a part of the "circuit" and per the rules of the gym (which the lady and I both found out at the same time are posted in 4 separate areas in giant lettering on the walls) if someone's doing a "circuit", they have first dibs on the machines in the "yellow area." This woman didn't care about these rules everyone else had to abide by. In fact, her only response when the desk guy calmly explained this to her was, "Yeah, I see the rules. So what? It's because I'm black, isn't it?" The guy at the desk turned all red and kept assuring her that this was not a race issue, they asked the same thing of every member. She eventually stormed out the door ranting and raving about how they weren't going to get her $10/month anymore. Lady...I'm sure they're all broken up about it! Once she was gone, I finally got to pay my startup fee and left. I hadn't even used the gym, yet I already felt healthier...osmosis, maybe??


        ........to be continued!.........  (I'd finish now, but I am busy watching World's Dumbest something-or-other on TruTV.)



  - Pita