You Were Not Born Rotten, Either.

I was not rotten and you were wrong.
I could do that and you were wrong.
It wasn't too hard for me and you were wrong.
It wasn't all my fault and you were wrong.

I can finish things I start, and you are wrong.
I am a great mom and you are wrong.
I am a good person and you are wrong.
I am so, so strong and you are wrong.

Too many years of my life have been spent trying to remove this inherently bad part of me that made me the screw-up I have always been known to be. As I got older and I began to meet more and more new people, it became apparent that something was off about this assessment of myself. It just didn't add up. Don't get me wrong - I believed it without question (and on some really bad days, still do). Instead of doing the logical thing (and I pride myself in being a somewhat logical person...) and taking into account not only the things I did that were not-so-great, but the things that I did that were actually pretty awesome.

I'm going to force myself to make a list. On this list I am going to list my pretty-awesome accomplishments. And I am not going to allow myself to "yeah-but" them away. (Some of you will understand just how challenging this can be.....)

1. I made it through high school. (High school sucked a lot.)
2. I joined the Marines at 17 years old and completed bootcamp and combat training. 
3. I became a single mom at 20 and worked a full-time job to support us and pay for our tiny apartment.
4. I graduated nursing school with a 3 1/2 year old and my RN degree.
5. I got the exact job I wanted on the exact unit I wanted to work on despite the fact that I was initially told it was not a possibility. (Persistence is key!)
   
6. I met my best friend and we got married.
   
7. We subsequently had another child who does nothing but make our lives better in some way, every day.

So let's get this straight once and for all. Every time you said I couldn't.....I did. And when you said I'd screw it up for sure because that's just what I do, I actually made something awesome.

Are you sure you know what you're talking about?


  - B